If you’re looking for tales of the library you’re in completely the wrong place. You see, for the past three years I’ve been making up the entire thing. I never worked at any library. I was just trying to hide the boringness of my real job at the cheese factory. Though we make delicious cheese, my job is not very much to write home about. I have seen the light however, and will commence to tell the truth about my real life at the cheese factory from now onward.
So as not to confuse I got rid of all those fanciful tales of libraries and the interesting funny things that happen at them. (Or could possibly happen in them if I’d ever been behind the scenes of one. Which I haven’t. Ever. Nope. Not even that time you saw me with your own eyes. If those are your real eyes. The ones you use for lying.)