me shnook

So yesterday not only did I get the new Radiohead album (I paid 3 quid for it), but I made a wonderful discovery as I was cleaning up at the library. Under a chair in the back of the 800s section, where the homeless guy who used to wear a beret and have a huge underbrush of beard (but has since gotten a shave that makes him nigh unrecognizable) often hangs out with his airplane books, I found a Hilroy Lil’ Fat Notebook. There was no one around to claim it. It was surrounded by garbage. So into my pocket it went.

I didn’t open it until I got home, savouring all the possibilities of what it could be during my walk. Maybe recipes. Maybe notes on call numbers for books. Maybe a journal. I would have really enjoyed that. What it was? Someone’s rhyme book.

Oh yes.

I hope whoever wrote this stuff has a friend who drops some really good beats because wow, are these rhymes ever shitty. You know how in hiphop there’s all this stuff about who’s got mad skills and how everyone wishes they were the artist who’s speaking? This person is really shitty. No one wishes they were this guy. And now that I use a bit of Google on one of the terms inside that gets self-aggrandized I find that they’re more of a BoyzIIMen clone. So no on the good beats. Wow.

Some of the lyrics from the book:

Baby you fine / I’m takin what mine / It’s all on the line / You blown my mind / Just like Janet rippin / the shit up wearin da Jewels / to make your titty shine / People think I’m all about / the D’s / But I’m also down with the / A to the C / Can you feel me / watchin’ y’all bounce / holdin’ my ounce / sparkin my philly

My housemate was right on a couple of counts. One is that they’re Filipino (as confirmed from the myspace page – she based it on the use of Tito as uncle). The other is how nice it is to find something like this to make you realize how lame you aren’t. I mean, sure if someone found one of my notebooks lying around there’s plenty to make fun of in it, but it’s not filled with utter vapidity, you know?

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